5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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