Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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