I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
