i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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