so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
