Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize