wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
