Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
