we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
