last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
where does the pee come out of this thing
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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