Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
