well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The adults are the big ones right?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize