Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
