She went from zero to smokin in five shots
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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