the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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