i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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