Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
