So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She said her name was "party"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
