By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
