i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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