Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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