they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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