What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
