Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
