hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
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I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
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in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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