Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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