last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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