My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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