I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
please don't ironically join a cult
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