I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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