He is an equal opportunity slut.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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