drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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