Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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