i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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