life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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