I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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