Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
