Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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