fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
