The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
