is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize