Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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