I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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