We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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