College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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