So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
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Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
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Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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