took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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