remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
