I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize