WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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