Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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