Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
