My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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