I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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