If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
